Is it a midlife crisis, or a midlife transformation?

Let's look at the midlife crisis with a modern perspective and put it in its place.

In this edition

Feature article: Is it a midlife crisis, or a midlife transformation?

From Bec’s Desk: The international edition is underway

Is it a midlife crisis, or a midlife transformation?

The “midlife crisis.” We’ve all heard about it—that cliché of people hitting their 50s, sometimes even their 60s or 70s, buying the sports car, quitting their job, upending their relationships or shaking things up in a big way. But let’s look at it from a new angle: what if the things that trigger us to make change in midlife aren’t a crisis at all? What if we think about this time in life as a time for transformation—a chance to realign, reimagine, and redefine what actually makes you happy and then to take action on embracing those things?

The smartest executive coach I know talks about the old idea of a midlife crisis as coming from a world where life was seen as a ladder—always climbing, always moving up in career, success, and responsibility. And if you chose to pause or take a step back? It felt like failure, and others would often judge you based on how they viewed that climb. But what if midlife—and all those years before we fully retire (because let’s be real, many of us still want to work after tapping into super)—is actually a chance to change direction and do what’s meaningful to you, not just what’s expected and get onto a path that we can enjoy through the whole next phase of our life — our Prime Time and our Epic Retirement? And if it is, then there’s a few things to talk about. 

What triggers the urge to transform

For a lot of us, the push to change doesn’t just pop up, there’s triggers — and it helps to notice one when you see one. There’s usually a spark that starts the fire: a health scare, a sense of ‘inner death’, the kids moving out, or even that feeling of, “This just isn’t working anymore.” It’s those moments that make you stop and think, “What do I actually want now?” They can happen in midlife or the period leading up to your first go at retiring.

People who lean into that question often find themselves getting clearer on what they want this next phase to look like. And yes, it can take time. Many of us resist at first—holding tightly to that ladder like it’s a prize. But if you truly embrace the transformation, you start to know it’s happening in a more conscious way - and you see your power to choose.

Gradually, many come to realise that midlife isn’t about sticking to a script—it’s about designing a life that aligns with your values and desires. This isn’t a crisis; it’s a transformation, a chance to put what really matters front and centre — and feel good about doing that.

Redefining success

If we’re being real, most of us spent the first few decades ticking boxes—career, family, all that. But now, with a potentially longer midlife and plenty of Epic Retirement years we have a shot at rethinking what success actually means for us. It’s about going beyond the usual measures and finding what actually feels good to do each day, each week.

People start putting their time and energy into things that feel meaningful, not for anyone else’s approval, but because it’s what they love. When we frame midlife this way, it’s not about a “crisis”—it’s about taking the time to recalibrate and prioritise what really counts. Imagine doing that proactively, because the time was right in life.

Having the courage to step off the ladder

The hardest part of contemplating stepping off the ladder (or being pushed off) is letting go of the old ideas about “being successful.” We’ve been so conditioned to keep climbing that stepping sideways or even down feels like we’re risking it all. But what if life isn’t a ladder at all? What if it’s more like a lattice—a chance to explore any direction that feels right?

The people who find real happiness in midlife and on the way to retirement are, in my opinion, the ones who give themselves permission to try something new. They make choices based on what feels good to them—not because they’re trying to prove anything. They’re living life on their own terms.

For many, this transformation brings a new sense of freedom and purpose. They find new passions, projects, and relationships that resonate with who they really are. And so often, they look back and say, “I’m so glad I went through that” or “This has been the best time of my life.”

The whole “midlife crisis” idea comes from a time when sticking to the plan was the norm. But now, you get to write your own story. So ask yourself: Is this a crisis, or is it the chance to finally create a life that feels like yours?

Some good questions to think about:

• Is there anything going on in your life that you’re unhappy with?

• What steps would you take if you knew no one was judging?

• How would you define success now, on your own terms?

Found yourself contemplating this too? Tell us your story in the comments.

Hey Primetimers and Epic Retirees

It’s been a magnificent few weeks putting to bed my latest manuscript for a book that will be published next year called Prime Time. I’m hopeful this one will end up with international editions you can access too — we just have to let my publisher work through how that can happen.

I’m now focussed on the manuscript for Epic Retirement’s International Edition! It’s so interesting to adapt it — because when you think about it, the systems that underpin retirement in each country are different but the lessons are the same and my framework for ‘how to have an epic retirement’ really does work well. We’re all living longer lives, and we have more opportunities, greater expectations and plenty of hunger to make it epic! It won’t be long now — although I don’t think it will be out this side of Christmas.

So what else have I been up to? Well, out here in Australia there’s a lot going on. I do quite a lot of guest speaking; retirement education and sessions with financial advisers too. I also run an online course for modern pre-retirees, and we’re in session at the moment on our six week program (it’s currently for Aussies). Once we get the international book out - we might be able to run courses more widely I hope — to help people in other countries learn in a hands-on and guided manner.

I’m curious to learn more about you — to help me in the writing of the international edition, so here’s three simple poll questions you can answer — for fun.

And lastly, I’d like to extend an invite to you to send me your letters! I love them. and I use them to inspire my newsletters all the time. Please, send them to bec@epicretirement.com.au. — Make sure you tell me where you’re from so I can answer with relevance.

Or leave a comment on the site here.

Many thanks! Bec Wilson

Author, podcast host, columnist, retirement educator, and guest speaker

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The Australian edition of How to Have an Epic Retirement is best purchased from Amazon online.